It's very rare that I post about myself on this page as I wanted to keep it as ‘professional’ as possible, however because of that I feel I have lost some of the ‘personal’ influences I want my work to show and the reasons behind my venture into @amiebouxbeauty_ ðŸ’
Today remarks an incredibly low time of my life- so I wanted to reflect upon those times with this little blog post, to give you all a little bit more of an insight to the very anxious girl behind Amie Boux Beauty. I have suffered with several mental health issues for nearly 8 years however a year ago today my mental health was at all time low, I was working a job which I loved but couldn’t keep my head above water with the stress, long hours and atmosphere! I felt like such a failure for finally realising that it was enough and my health had to come first- during this time I also was fighting crippling pain from what was an ‘undiagnosed’ condition of which we now know to be endometriosis along with many more complicated and personal problems! I was at breaking point with family problems, heartbreak from a one sided relationship and exhaustion from my own mind not being ‘normal’ plus the frustration to those who didn’t seem to care or understand- the lack of support I was given by doctors, hospitals and even a few family members and ‘friends’. _ I was signed off sick in which became an even worse time for me- as it does for most! I felt lazy, unsuccessful and extremely stuck in a negative mental state- I began dating Ashley and my mindset changed, despite my flaws, somebody wanted to know me and be there to support me. Immediately my attitude began to change, I became more focused and I wanted to achieve the dreams I had always set for myself - I have ALWAYS wanted to have my own business and be self employed ( I like the quiet life ) and have always dreamed about working in an environment without constant bitching, competition or mind games between colleagues as to whose being real and whose fake!
Despite I've never been what is considered as a "girly girl" with no interest towards my own makeup, nails and beauty essentials, especially keeping up to date with the latest trends 24/7. I have always had more of a passion for making others feel beautiful, inside and out and there is truly no better feeling than witnessing a reaction to someone who is over the moon with a treatment. A theory behind my passion is from how unhappy I am with my own appearance! I want to put all my love, care and effort into my work so that others don't experience how I feel on most days towards myself. I truly value the importance of self care, that having some time to yourself to have a beauty treatment is not just for vanity but also for wellbeing and your mental health.
Therefore I set about my mission to start achieving my dreams, I wanted to become a beauty therapist and have my own business by the end of the year! I spend weeks researching and contemplating about my decision, should I just work in an office? Stop being silly Amie it's never going to work! I attended interviews for apprentices, one of which I remember very clearly all for the wrong reasons! After passing several interviews a member of staff (who happened to be the assistant manager) became very patronising, asking personal questions about how I am affording to live off an apprentice wage and wasn't I past it? My confusion to her negativity must have been obvious as she continued the interview with the following sentence " You just don't look like the sort of girl that should be working In the beauty industry, you'd look better in an office" I don't know weather it was the determination from wanting to achieve my goals or the sudden burst from the sertraline I take for my anxiety- I got up from my seat and said " I don't think I would fit in to such a poorly run salon anyway, especially with the school like behaviour members of staff have towards potential colleagues" and walked out. despite to some this is such a small action I was so proud of myself, I had spent weeks going back and fourth at the drop of a hat to this salon, where the staff looked at me like some sort of out of place creature and would make gestures when they assumed I could not hear of see- this is a VERY well known, high street salon- this is what made my decision clear- I DO NOT WANT TO BE LIKE THAT, I want to pride myself in being unique, for offering a truly honest, personal service with no objections to any individual no matter what. I want to be "ME" not a moulded figure of what the beauty industry is stereotyped to be.
From that point on I found an amazing beauty school who offered very personal, intimate training for those who come from a multitude of backgrounds- nurses, teachers, single mothers, it was accepting of all- I finally found my happy place.
I worked day and night practicing my skills and gaining confidence, researching products and finding out more about the industry, I did not stop until I was happy. In the meantime those around me seemed to look at my "dream" as a bit of a jolly, not taking my venture seriously and still to this day I know that certain people around me don't truly understand the importance of my business and how much I have overcome and achieved the past 9 months. Just because I'm not working in an office or be in what is considered to be a "Proper Job" does not mean I am not working just as hard as everybody else, if anything I believe that those who are self employed and that are building their businesses are working TWICE as hard as those in the "employed" sector. We work DAY and NIGHT, consistently working with the public, advertising on social media, coming up with new creative ideas to make us unique in the market! we can't turn down work, no matter how short notice or how much we would "really like that weekend off" This is the hardest I have ever worked and it would be such a relief if others could realise how hard I truly do work. I now appreciate those who are in the same position as me and have made so many friends from being self employed (Something I really struggled with in the workplace) I have made some amazing connections with some inspirational people and would consider myself blessed to have achieved so much in such short space of time.
Then...Amie Boux Beauty was born- after months of determination, fall backs and constant worrying of weather it was going to be "good" enough, I finally opened my gorgeous little treatment room! I wanted my salon to be a place like no other, almost a home from home- no awkward atmosphere, no judgement or dismissive attitude towards my clients- I just wanted to be my and pride my business from that! Now 9 months later, I am the happiest I can possibly be, I have proven to myself and to those around me that nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it- I have become a stronger individual with a new life of confidence and maturity.
Mental health does not DEFINE you- it makes you unique, so build your talents upon your flaws and you can achieve anything- Trust me!
I would like to thank everybody who has supported me, even those who have doubted me as it's because of people like you that I am the strong, determined person that I am today! I have received so many lovely messages from clients and build such genuine relationships with those I never thought possible, I have taken part in many amazing opportunities and it's all because of you, so from the bottom of a very anxious girls heart, thank you.